Hey Fluffs! Sorry for my absence last week but I am back. We’re just going to jump right into things cause…. *heavy sigh*
Let’s paint a picture, guys. Grab your paintbrushes!
So you wake up early on Tuesday morning, feeling refreshed and vibrant. You throw on your gym clothes with your matching neon sneakers, and head to the gym. Sweat your ass off on the elliptical for 30 minutes, then head over to the weights to start working on your arms. As you make your way over there, a woman stops you dead in your tracks and she LOUDLY comments on how pretty you are and then LOUDLY tells you that you REALLY, REALLY, REALLY need to lose A LOT of weight, and continues to ask you if you’ve been checked by a doctor?!?!
Fluffs, you could put your paintbrushes down now. Why? Because you don’t have to paint a picture. Why? Because this was my Tuesday morning. This is a true story.
So I tried to come up with an answer that was appropriate, well-mannered, and one that did not reflect the “angry, black woman” side of me. “I’ve been to the doctor. I AM FINE and I am very much comfortable with myself!” I replied while walking away to start my strength training. Although I gave this real “body confident” answer and I am Fluffy; I was fighting back tears while doing the rest of my workout. So much so that I ended it early, sat in my car, and cried. Cried. Cried… And cried. Told my sister about the cringe worthy experience and cried. Drove home and fixed my healthy ass breakfast and cried. Packed my healthy ass lunch for the day and cried.
Hey folks, just to let you know, big people are human too. I love my curves, but I’m sensitive about my body. I haven’t felt that feeling in a long time. At that moment I felt like I was the girl being picked on in middle school all over again. The free-spirited Fluffy that loves to wear crop tops dissolved and this little, insecure chubby girl appeared in her place during that exchange. For once in my life, I felt really small and it didn’t feel good.
There is this horrible stigma attached to being “overweight” and I’m so sick of everyone assuming that just because you’re KING SIZED you don’t give a damn about yourself, you’re OBVIOUSLY unhealthy and suffering from somebody’s illness, you’re lazy, and you’re definitely ALWAYS hungry. Every stereotype has some truth to it. I won’t deny it, I LOVE FOOD! But I do give a damn about myself, my health, and everything in between. Just as much as I am #TeamBBW, I am very much so #TeamHEALTHY.
I never have a goal to be slim but I do have a goal of living a very long life and to NOT run around fishing for clogged arteries. And I know with this situation there are plenty of people who can relate, like my really thin folks who get told to “eat more,” even though they could out eat me at a buffet but just happen to be naturally slim. Yes…. We are all apart of that same struggle.
You know if I was extra, extra sensitive I probably would’ve never returned back to the gym again. But that is a big ass IF… I was back the next day. But I know there is someone out there who could’ve been really turned off by that experience… Don’t be. People are rude, some are ignorant, insensitive, and some just don’t know any better. Fluffs, we are #TeamUnBothered at all times! Love you, love your curves, don’t aim for a dress size, just aim to be healthy, and fuck anyone else who has sh*t to say about it.
P.S. Sorry for cursing…
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