FLUFFY GIRL KNOWS BEST

You’re Too Big To Be Healthy…

Hey Fluffs! Sorry for my absence last week but I am back. We’re just going to jump right into things cause…. *heavy sigh*

Let’s paint a picture, guys. Grab your paintbrushes!

So you wake up early on Tuesday morning, feeling refreshed and vibrant. You throw on your gym clothes with your matching neon sneakers, and head to the gym. Sweat your ass off on the elliptical for 30 minutes, then head over to the weights to start working on your arms. As you make your way over there, a woman stops you dead in your tracks and she LOUDLY comments on how pretty you are and then LOUDLY tells you that you REALLY, REALLY, REALLY need to lose A LOT of weight, and continues to ask you if you’ve been checked by a doctor?!?!

PAUSE.

Fluffs, you could put your paintbrushes down now. Why? Because you don’t have to paint a picture. Why? Because this was my Tuesday morning. This is a true story.

Carry on.

 

So I tried to come up with an answer that was appropriate, well-mannered, and one that did not reflect the “angry, black woman” side of me. “I’ve been to the doctor. I AM FINE and I am very much comfortable with myself!” I replied while walking away to start my strength training. Although I gave this real “body confident” answer and I am Fluffy; I was fighting back tears while doing the rest of my workout. So much so that I ended it early, sat in my car, and cried. Cried. Cried… And cried. Told my sister about the cringe worthy experience and cried. Drove home and fixed my healthy ass breakfast and cried. Packed my healthy ass lunch for the day and cried.

Hey folks, just to let you know, big people are human too. I love my curves, but I’m sensitive about my body. I haven’t felt that feeling in a long time. At that moment I felt like I was the girl being picked on in middle school all over again. The free-spirited Fluffy that loves to wear crop tops dissolved and this little, insecure chubby girl appeared in her place during that exchange. For once in my life, I felt really small and it didn’t feel good.

There is this horrible stigma attached to being “overweight” and I’m so sick of everyone assuming that just because you’re KING SIZED you don’t give a damn about yourself, you’re OBVIOUSLY unhealthy and suffering from somebody’s illness, you’re lazy, and you’re definitely ALWAYS hungry. Every stereotype has some truth to it. I won’t deny it, I LOVE FOOD! But I do give a damn about myself, my health, and everything in between. Just as much as I am #TeamBBW, I am very much so #TeamHEALTHY.

I never have a goal to be slim but I do have a goal of living a very long life and to NOT run around fishing for clogged arteries. And I know with this situation there are plenty of people who can relate, like my really thin folks who get told to “eat more,” even though they could out eat me at a buffet but just happen to be naturally slim. Yes…. We are all apart of that same struggle.

You know if I was extra, extra sensitive I probably would’ve never returned back to the gym again. But that is a big ass IF… I was back the next day. But I know there is someone out there who could’ve been really turned off by that experience… Don’t be. People are rude, some are ignorant, insensitive, and some just don’t know any better. Fluffs, we are #TeamUnBothered at all times! Love you, love your curves, don’t aim for a dress size, just aim to be healthy, and fuck anyone else who has sh*t to say about it.

Sincerely,

            Fluffy

 

P.S. Sorry for cursing…

 

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47 thoughts on “You’re Too Big To Be Healthy…

  1. I /hate/ this.

    As a motivator and running community coach, and a woman fighting my own “big gurl genetics” on a daily basis, I hate that people make such basic back-handed comments ESPECIALLY at the gym. Clearly someone is at the gym and doing thing, they are already working on their goals and plans, that is NOT the time to make those kinds of comments (there really isn’t a time, unless your the person’s best friend and they want you to get a bit mean to help keep them honest on their workouts and diet).

    I am so sorry that someone had to dump on your day like that. This type of person does not deserve any real estate in your mind. Drop her from your day and focus on all the great things you did! You didn’t let her derail you! You still went with the healthy options, you got on with life. You didn’t say “screw it” and give up on your plan because of her. Way to go you!

    Keep on your path, girl. You have got this.
    And thanks for stopping by to read my page!

    Cheers!

  2. I know exatly what you mean. I am proud to say I am 5’9″ and 230 lbs. You camt tell I weight that much because I wear it well. Everytime I would go to the V.A. Dr., she would tell me I’m morbidly obese and I need to lose weight. Im thinking morbidly obese is my 600 lb life. Anyway, after I told that Dr. how my husbamd and I work out and my blood work is always at the status of a person they deam to be healthy, she left me alone, and stated you’re healthier than most of my people who come in here. I am bench pressimg and squatting triple digiys amd feel real good aboit it. I can cycle almosy 20 miles and not fall out and I am enjoying life, So, BIG GIRLS RULES!!!!!!!! Just look at the so called big girls in the tennis world and see how they dominate. Thank you for the article ot was extremely encouraging 😁😁👍💪💪

  3. I love you, GC. You cried your pain and then got back to the gym the very next day. Great! 🙂
    I’ve been on both sides: being a chubby teenagers called names and a skinny 30 something scared by calories. They told me to eat less, to eat more, to be more feminine, to be less a princess 😑

  4. Thank you so much for sharing this!
    Things like this have been happening to me too and it’s really difficult to stay strong
    But it’s nice to know that someone else out there knows what it feels like

  5. Yep, that lady was either abysmally ignorant or just evil. You handled it all so well. You write really well too–hope you will keep on writing–you speak for a lot of people who can’t express themselves as well. God bless you.

  6. What a be-ach! Women in general have the “blessing” of being compared, ridiculed, insulted and belittle by men and women who are too rude to keep their mouths shut and their opinions to themselves. “Are you anorexic?” “Do you have bulimia?” “Do you have a tape worm?” plus the downright hostility and glaring of other pregnant women who didn’t appreciate what size I was during various stages of my pregnancies. I can’t do a damn thing about my genes, but I certainly was taught to never say anything to intentionally hurt someone’s feelings. People know what they’re doing and pretending to be ignorant of other folk’s humanity is just wrong.

  7. thank you for sharing your story and echoing the sentiments of a lot of women across the globe.
    I also had this unforgettable experience years back when an acquaintance told me: “you know, you are really pretty underneath all that fat”.
    Yours is worse though – a stranger?! Wow!

  8. Amen My brother is a waif, works out rigorously and still has to take medicine to control his high cholesterol. My point is, yes being over weight can have health consequences but being in shape and at a healthy weight doesn’t guarantee you better health. Sounds like you are already taking healthy measures and you have a great attitude. That women is what Anthony DiMello calls “asleep”. She was obviously caught up in her own ego. So carry on. You know you’re fabulous and that’s what really matters.

  9. So sorry you were subjected to such rudeness. That woman needs to be checked by a psychiatrist and perhaps have the filter checked between her brain and her mouth. She is to be pitied. You can hold your head high for handling the situation with grace.
    I’m lucky to go to a small gym where everyone is very supportive and encouraging. I usually work with a trainer either in small groups or larger classes. It’s fun to see people be transformed in their bodies, bit more importantly in their minds when they realize how they are stronger and able to do things they never imagined.
    I’m hard on myself and have spent some time crying in my car and wanting to give up. The fact that I was in a contract and had to pay whether I went or not motivated me when nothing else could to just go and try again.

  10. I just love the “you’d be so much prettier if you lost a couple more pounds in the face” like really? Cause yea, I can control my face fat lol. Love this post

  11. I’m so with you! I’m curvy, and happy with my curves, but it doesn’t mean I’m not sensitive about my body, the same as 99% of other women are. This person who called you clearly has there own issues. You know you are beautiful. F*#k the rest of them ❤️

  12. I draw strength as a fellow woman by your strength to stay focused after someone was so nasty to you.

    It really is incredible that you ate a healthy meal and went back to the same gym the next day. I would have comfort-ate the f*ck out of that I think!

    I love it how you describe choosing not to act like an “angry, black woman”. I’m mixed race and have often thought “don’t act the stereotype” about various things whilst growing up! 🙂

  13. Yep…I understand…been dealing with stupid people for over 50 years! By the way, check out one of fav poems by Lucille Clifton – Homage to My Hips! No one says it so proudly and soeloquently! Be proud! 🙂

  14. Beauty is an internally generated quality! Healthy is a balancing act of fitness and emotional reconciliation. I love to eat, and had to come to terms with my eating habits because of its detriment to my health. Dr told me I was textbook diabetic? I began to change my lifestyle to overcome. Ridiculous comments from others is no more effective than watching a fitness DVD and feeling inadequate. Encourage from within, and plan your life around your exercise, then stop eating in an attempt to satisfy some emotional need. It’s just that simple. Lost 60 lbs doing just that!

  15. Wow, what a bitch! (her, not you 😉 ) Sorry you had that happen. BTDT but I won’t go back.

    What gets me is the nosy people who apparently think we don’t already KNOW we are fluffy and say stupid things like that woman did. DUH, why on Gods green Earth would you be at the gym if you weren’t working on the issue??? You truly cannot fix stupid.

    Thanks for the like on my blog. You’re awesome! Namaste 🙂

  16. I’m a plus size girl and have experienced such comments and so much more. You just need to ignore people who are so insecure with themselves, they spend their time judging other people’s weight just so they can feel better about themselves

  17. Wow! I’m so sorry you had to experience that but good for you holding your head high and returning. Being “fluffy” myself, I would have found that extremely difficult. You have a great attitude and healthy is the only way to be!

  18. Kudos for not verbally bitch slapping her with a sarcastic comment like “why the hell do you think I’m AT THE GYM for fuck’s sake?” Because I can’t say that I would have been nearly as classy as you were. Keep your chin up. People are dumb sometimes in a way that can’t be fixed.

  19. I am so sorry this happened to you. You are a kind, wonderful person and doesn’t deserve to experience such cruelty and negativity. I do, however, think it happened to you because you are such great person, a person who would behave in a truly inspiring way, a person who would share this experience with the rest of us and inspire us too.
    I’ve had what I dub one of my “bad weeks” where my positivity, and therefore my eating habits, plummet. Now it’s Saturday and I’m feeling guilty and bad about myself because I haven’t had the great week I’d hoped for, and am falling behind in my goals for myself. Then I read this post, and am inspired by your energy, your positivity, your strong sense of self-love and self-respect and I am feeling energised myself. I know I can recover from a bad week and go on to do better next week.
    I’ve good mind to go up to that woman and say “Thank you! Thank you so much for being such a mega bitch because your actions resulted in my being incredibly motivated not to be anything like you and to stop speaking so cruelly to myself.”
    I also want to say thank you to you, for sharing your experience and being such a positive, inspiring person!

  20. I have recently (as in last week) joined the gym and have always been put off from joining because of the idea of people staring or making comments but i’ve been quiet surprised by the people who have treated me kindly and have even helped use some equipment i was obviously confused by. I really hope you gym experiences from now on are as positive as mine, and don’t let the snotty woman get you down 🙂

  21. Keep writing!!! Keep expressing!!! I’m a curvy white girl (went from size 3 to size 14 after a coma and WOW, getting used to being Marilyn Monroe after being Twiggy for so long!) And I love my body. I love my body more now than I ever did when I was starving myself and suicidal and trying to impress everyone else. This is the real me 🙂 so keep writing, keep expressing, and keep loving yourself, girl <3 and get a heavy bag to hang in your doorway at home, take up boxing, and f*** all those entitled narcissists at the gym. That's what I did 😉 I shake the whole house with my right hook 🙂

  22. 🙏 blessings to you. They say everyone has a flaw of some sort. The worst flaw anyone can have is being insensitive, uncaring and mean hearted. Regardless of why you work out the one thing anyone should witness in your action is inspiration. I hope you never see that person again or if you do they should apologize and ask for your forgiveness.

  23. Thank you so much for your recent “like” on my blog post, Sincerely GC! All I can say is, “AMEN” to your post! People are so quick to judge and too slow to stop and think, “would I want to hear this if it were me?” Keep spreading the word and love of self acceptance!! <3

    I'm going to click FOLLOW to your page so I can stay up to date with your posts! Feel free to share the love back <3

    Jaclyn Ramey_The Beauty Coach

  24. I can’t believe someone said that to you while you were at the gym. If anything she should have been praising you for treating your body well with a healthy workout.

    How sad, good on you for being respectful to her and continuing to love yourself dispute her shitty attitude! ♥

  25. Wtf is that ladies issue. The nerve to go up to you and say that. Good for you continuing your work out. Honestly I probably would of walked into the bathroom and started crying.
    People irk me. I use to weigh right under 300 pounds. When I started loosing weight people would make comments to me that you could tell where not supportive at all. Just them being asses.
    You are an inspiration.

    1. I am SO sorry that you had to experience this!

      Reading this honestly broke my heart as it is almost unbelievable that somebody could be so outrageously nasty to someone else!! Like, what the hell(?)! That woman’s comment is just as bad as Nicole Arbour’s ‘Fat Shaming’ video that she felt ever so obliged to post on YouTube.

      I may not know you, however I am so proud of you for the way you handled the situation – with dignity and pride. I am so inspired by your body confidence as this is an area that I have also struggled with my entire life. I really do not know what I would have done in this situation.

      Well done for carrying on!

      1. I couldn’t agree more with Natasha’s comment above. Keep carrying on. This woman obviously has issues with herself since she feels it necessary to lash out at someone else in such an obnoxious manner.

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